Feels Like Home
by Mariss95
Summary: Oneshot. Caskett scene during 2X18:Boom!


_**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I don't own this amazing show. I'm just a normal teenager who is obsessed with this fantastic creative world called fanfiction :)_

_**A/N:** Hi there! This is my latest Castle fanfic. Surprise surprise: it's full of Caskett fluffiness. I know I have lots of stories to update, and I promise I'm working on them, but just couldn't get this little idea out of my head and I had to write it down. It's not super original, but I really enjoyed writing it and hope you have a good time reading it too! So there's nothing much to say, except I really dig reviews *wink* It would mean a lot if you could take just a couple of minutes of your time to type what you think about it and say if you would like me to write other Caskett one-shots like this._

_Oh, and btw, I'm currently searching for a beta, cuz my mother language isn't english and I think that I could use some help. So if you are interested let me know! I would really apreciate it :)_

_**Spoilers:** Up to 2X18 Boom! _

_**Rating:** T (for adult content, but nothing too graphic)_

_xo, L_

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**Feels Like Home**

_If you knew how lonely my life has been  
And how long I've been so alone  
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along  
And change my life the way you've done_

Castle unlocked the front door and pushed it wide open, leading his favorite detective in. It had been a while since her last visit to his place, so several witty comments started forming in his mind to lighten the tense atmosphere that surrounded them. But judging by her expression they would only make them feel more uncomfortable. Walking behind her, he left her overnight bag over the couch. Kate walked over to the farthest window and gazed at the rainy street. Silence overtook the loft as they both let the day they had had sink in.

_She could have _died. No matter how many times he repeated it to himself, it just didn't make sense. Castle had always thought Beckett was the strongest most independent woman in the entire world, who could face and conquer everything. Still, just one case gone wrong, one angry stalker, and her place had been blown up, her life being almost over. Staring at her dead expression he could only think of how close he had come to losing her; and all over a dammed book.

After the Coonan case he had swore he would never harm her again. However, here they were, only a couple months after that awful night, both terrified and speechless, thinking of how close they had been to losing each other.

She leaned against the cold glass and closed her eyes, trying but failing to douse the anger that overtook her. Not only had she almost died, but also the killer was out there, planning on where to strike next, playing with innocent lives just to teach her something. She internally cursed this case for making her feel so useless. She was kicked out of the case, of her house, of her job. She had nothing left to keep her sane through this.

A warm hand squeezed her shoulder lightly. Her eyes flew open and met his blue irises, only inches away from hers.

"I'm really sorry".

His soothing whisper relaxed her whole body, giving her the serenity she had been needing since the beginning of this case.

"None of this is your fault, Castle" she repeated, after such a long time. She knew she wasn't going to feel better right now, but he had no reason to suffer from her problems.

"A psychopath killing random people isn't. But you being in danger sure is." The seriousness in his tone startled her, his anger flowing from his eyes to hers.

Sighing she stared outside the window.

"We will catch him, Kate" He whispered in her ear, as a promise, tightening his hold on her shoulder. Their eyes lock for a moment, and she could see reflected in his that there was no hidden meaning, just a reassuring seriousness. She nodded reflexively and nestled her head against the crock between his neck and shoulders. He wrapped his arm around her form protectively and tenderly kissed her forehead.

Minutes passed but neither tried to move, comfortable to console the other. Frankly, Kate felt safer enveloped in his arms than she had ever been before. The soothing circles he was drawing at the top of her back making her muscles relax, and all the fears fade away. It hadn't escaped to her how odd their position would look to everyone else or the fact that he had just called her Kate; but at that moment it didn't matter. The earth stood still as sirens and honks were heard from the busy Manhattan streets, together with the steady beating of his heart jumping through his shirt.

Her fists clutched at the thin material and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to forget everything they had been through in the past few days. Right then and there, in his arms, every threat or fear she had vanished from her mind and body. Kate had waited for so long to feel his skin against hers, to experience his touch and taste his kisses, but tonight wasn't about lust: it was about comfort.

After what seemed like an eternity but still not enough for neither of them, she pulled away slowly and mouthed a 'thank you'.

"Anytime" he said, a loving smile plastered on his face. There was nothing he wouldn't give to make her happy; because she was his family, his friend, his partner, his person. She smiled back and headed to the couch and grabbing her bag started searching for something to sleep in. He watched her toss some things around and bring others to her nose to smell them deeply only to throw them in the un-usable pile that was forming next to her. Snorting soundly he made his way upstairs and came down a seconds later.

"Here." He offered her one of his shirts and what seemed like some loose pants of his. She looked at the items and then back at him with a questioning look.

"Really Castle? That's your best attempt to see me with your clothes on?" No matter how much she had tried, he could still see the sadness in her eyes and hear the quiver in her voice. Shrugging his shoulders he laid his clothes on the couch.

"I was actually expecting to see you without them on, but felt it was safer if I behaved like a gentlemen. After all, you're still wearing your gun"

She made her way to the kitchen after patting his shoulder and whispering to his back "Good boy!" He quickly followed her and leaned against the kitchen counter, gazing at her worried face as she browsed the fridge's content.

"Want some coffee?"

"Think I need something stronger after the day we've had"

A light bulb lightened over his head and he kneeled in front of a wooden cabinet next to him. Kate closed the fridge's door and looked at his excited face as he raised a full bottle of scotch. A smile grew on both of their faces as she walked to him and snapping the bottle from his hand pointed to another cupboard where the glasses where stashed.

Walking to the living room she eyed the couch puzzled. Castle turned to face her a moment later, a couple of shot glasses in his hand and a bucket of ice in the other one, only to find the room empty.

"Kate?" He wondered as he stepped into the living room.

"Right here!"

Her voice came from the studio. He quietly pushed the door open and found her sitting at one of the furthest divans, staring at the tall bookshelves that adorned his wall. He made his way towards her and placed the cups next to the bottle in a nearby table. Filling both its glasses he handed one to her, and without hesitation they both downed them in one gulp. She poured them another round, but as he didn't took it she gazed at his face. His eyes were lost in the distance; a serious look clouding his features. Fighting back the urge to crawl into his lap and hug him tightly she placed a hand in his knee. That brought him down to earth and meet her deep green eyes.

"What's on your mind, Castle?"

"Rick. I think after tonight we can call on a first name basis, can't we?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. The sorrow and guilt painted in his blue irises, again. He took his time to study her face, trying to predict her reaction to what he was planning to say. Downing his glass he sighted heavily and looked back at her, covering the small hand on his knee with his big one.

"You."She gasped and tried to fight a smile. "I just can't stop thinking of what it would be like if I had been late, if I had taken longer to figure it out. If you… If when I banged down the door I had found you lying there, dead. I…I would have never forgiven myself. It got me thinking." He stared at their intertwined hands, then at the floor, avoiding her eyes, scared that she would freak out and run away from him. Gathering courage he met her steady stare, to her beautiful green eyes, now glistening as tears clouded her vision. "Nothing would be the same without you, Kate. I would never be the same. But worst of all, I would have to live for the rest of my miserable life knowing you would never know…"

Silence filled the room as his mouth closed; his thoughts unfinished. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, at a loss for words.

"Would never know what, Rick?"

She placed a hand under his chin, locking their eyes.

"Just how much you meant to me; how much you've changed my life, myself, my family; how much I care about you… but mostly how sorry I am to have put you in this situation."

Holding his stare, openmouthed, she saw as moisture formed in his eyes. There were so many things she wanted to say to him. She felt the same way, always had, but had never had the nerve to put it out for him and everyone to know. Despite how annoying he could be at times, having him in her life was the best thing that had ever occurred to her for a long time. She had been trying to fight back every feeling that he awoke, to avoid getting hurt, but at that moment she knew he had the right and needed to know everything she had been keeping to herself. A glistering tear streamed down his cheek. She whipped it out with her thumb and after sharing a last longing gaze, she cupped his face and closed the distance between them at a tortuously slow pace.

Her lower lip touched his, lightly brushing it, as their eyes fluttered closed. She pulled away to glance at his eyes, now burning through hers, encouraging them both to cross that invisible line that had always defined their partnership.

He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers once again. She responded eagerly, letting her own tears run freely down her face. Her hands got tangled in his hair as his clutched her sides, pulling her closer. Their lips moved in sync, attracted by a magnetic force that had ignited the moment she had laid her lips on his. His tongue licked her lips, demanding entrance. She opened her mouth and their tongues starting dueling for dominance, neither getting enough of each other.

He circled her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Her right hand released his hair and traced a path down his neck. Taking a hold of his shirt she deepened the kiss, only breaking apart when the need of air became urgent. Their breaths became harsher as their hands began roaming over their bodies. Kate pushed his coat off his shoulders, letting it fall flat on the floor. She trailed her hands down his chest, feeling as his muscles went taut with just one touch of her fingers. He moaned in response but quickly came round.

Breaking the kiss he leaned back, placing a hand on her lower back and using the other one to throw her hair back to meet her steady gaze. She looked flustered, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. Yet she looked open, sure. Without breaking eye contact she started undoing the buttons of his shirt, tugging it out of his pants, and then carelessly tossing it on the floor. She trailed her nails down his bare chest feeling as his heart race faster under her touch. Leaning down she began tracing a path of light kisses from his collarbone up to his jaw, locking their lips together one more time after sharing a last passionate look.

Soon her shirt was discarded together with the rest of their clothing as their kisses grew stronger and more fervent; the need to feel each other beating any rational thought.

After two years of denied feelings and longing looks she had finally accepted the inevitable. That night, on his favorite author's arms she lost every fear she had, and opened herself up to love. And that morning, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest, she felt his heartbeat against her palm again, and knew that no matter how awful that day had been, she had won more than lost. Gazing one last time at his calm face she snuggled in closer and drifted off with the sweetest smile upon her face.

_Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me  
And how long I've waited for your touch  
And if you knew how happy you are making me  
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much_

_It feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong_

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_Hope you liked it!  
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